


Energy

by pokeypuppy



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26784676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pokeypuppy/pseuds/pokeypuppy
Summary: A fluffy and angsty one shot of the birthday party and what would have happened if Guille hadn't walked into the bedroom.
Relationships: Valentina Carvajal & Juliana Valdés, Valentina Carvajal/Juliana Valdés
Comments: 20
Kudos: 148





	1. Chapter One

Juliana followed a wobbly Valentina up the wide staircase, Val’s hands wrapped so tightly around her own it was like the taller girl wanted to fuse their bodies together. Clammy hands intertwined, Val bobbed clumsily like she didn’t have a care in the world.

When Val’s foot missed a step, Juliana’s hand wrapped reflexively around her waist, pulling them closer. Val smiled, wide-eyed like a cheshire cat, and ghosted her fingers across Juliana’s jaw.

“Always helping me,” Val said softly as her fingers blazed a trail of warmth across Juliana’s face before tapering off against her neck. It was only a moment, but it left Juliana rooted in place, the one stumbling when Val turned back around and took the steps with renewed purpose.

Telling Lucho he should leave and an altercation with her sister seemed not to have dulled her shine in the slightest, Juliana wondering for the briefest moment if maybe she should have taken the pill Valentina had offered. 

From her friend’s response, it seemed like escape.

It wasn’t the kind of drugs people did in her trailer park; they opted for cheaper, more violent highs that left front yards littered with lawn chairs and broken kitchen appliances in the morning. Anything they could get their hands on, really, and something that made them okay with the world instead of forgetting it wasn’t what they were looking for.

But Valentina seemed happy, a juxtaposition to the way she’d seen people engage with drugs where she’d grown up. Wide eyes. Soft lips. And the touching. It was like she couldn’t stop touching Juliana. 

It was addictive, when Valentina’s whole stare was trained on her, like there was no one else in the world. And even on drugs, when she could have anyone else, could have gone with Lucho and Sergio to spend the rest of the night partying, she’d stayed. Close. Affectionate. It made Juliana feel like they were lost in their own world together, and she couldn’t even pretend like she had drugs as an excuse.

But Valentina didn’t know that. She’d offered to share, and, though Juliana felt a bit guilty about it, she’d let Valentina think they were going through the same experience. Even if she didn’t want to be on drugs, she didn’t want Val to feel self-conscious about it, and maybe selfishly, didn’t want her to realize there could be more fun out in the world than sober and awkward Juliana.

Fate seemed like such a strong word, but in a home filled with drivers and support staff, the fact that there’d been no one to take Juliana back to her small apartment and away from the surreal world she’d found herself in tonight was more than she wanted to process.

Here, in this moment as she followed Val into her bedroom, it was clear that even if Valentina wanted to be with her right now, she wasn’t ready to wind down for the night.

Valentina was already at her stereo, fingers finding the buttons as she said, “Let me put some music on.”

It was loud, so loud thatJuliana shut the door instinctively. Valentina’s world didn’t seem to have a lot of rules, and she silently added blasting music at all hours to the list.

When Valentina started dancing to the song they’d danced to together in the park, Juliana moved across the room, not allowing her focus to travel across Val’s body, swaying slightly off-tempo to the music.

For as idiotic as it was when she’d asked where Val’s energy had come from, she felt worse when she lied again, doubling down on taking the drugs.

She wondered if maybe there was some part of Val that knew, but it was like she was too lost in her own experience to care about Juliana’s less than consistent answer.

Because right now, all Val seemed to want to do was dance, the look in her eyes like Juliana was the perfect partner. Maybe it was that she was the only other person in the room. Maybe it was that she really wanted to dance with Juliana.

For as open as Valentina could be, Juliana could never quite figure her out. There were these moments, unguarded and tangled with uncertainty when Juliana’s thoughts grew confused. When she longed to press their bodies closer together or lift their enveloped hands and kiss Val’s fingertips.

She shook her head and blew a tendril of hair from her face, unable to meet Valentina’s stare. Juliana would never say it, never vocalize those feelings. Those wants. Because that would change everything. It was a risk she wasn’t willing to take.

They were too close, Valentina holding Juliana against her, still swaying to a beat that only existed in her mind. When Val wrapped her arm around Juliana’s back and pushed her toward the bed. Juliana felt rooted in place but allowed herself to be moved backward. Her exposed legs brushed against the softness of the bedspread, which may as well have been barbed wire for all the comfort it provided.

It wasn’t fair that something could feel both so wrong and so right, Val pulling Juliana’s hands up and placing their palms together. All she felt was the warmth and electricity of the touch, until finally something about a game registered in Juliana’s consciousness, Valentina’s voice excited and breathless as she haphazardly explained the rules.

Energy. More touching. Closed eyes. 

Juliana focused on Val’s words, on what was being asked of her. Palm to palm, she acquiesced to Valentina’s surprisingly demanding request, closing her eyes as Valentina’s fingers trailed along her hands.

Her heart beat erratically in her chest, and it took every ounce of willpower she had to keep her eyes closed, to let Valentina continue her explorations that shifted up Juliana’s arms and across her shoulders. It felt like it had only been seconds, but she couldn’t be sure given her heightened emotions, when Valentina’s hands cupped against her face, her fingertips dragging lightly along her temples and down her cheeks.

Juliana took a deep breath in, sure Valentina could hear her heart, could feel her ragged breath as she tried to keep her body still. This game, or whatever it was, had moved far beyond anything she understood. 

She could feel Valentina’s face drawing closer, the light tickle of breath, from Val this time, against her own cheek. Time was suspended, experiencing the touch magnified by a million because she couldn’t see Val, didn’t know what was happening.

Butterflies exploded in her stomach when the softest lips she’d ever felt met her own, and she leaned instinctively into the moment. Because really, what else was she going to do? When every broken piece of her chaotic and unstable life suddenly eased back together like Valentina was glue making her whole, allowing pieces that she thought would never be mended to become something bigger and more whole than she could have ever imagined.

Because never, in her wildest thoughts, had she imagined she could feel this way, that Valentina could feel this way about her.

And as suddenly as the warmth had flowed through her veins, a wave of cold washed through her, so harsh against the heat of Valentina’s lips that she pulled back.

Valentina smiled, slightly embarrassed, her cheeks rosy. Her hands had found their way to Juliana’s hips, Val’s fingers pushing lightly into her dress and the skin beneath it. “Energy….” 

Juliana cleared her throat and shook her confusion away. “Val,” she said evenly, unable to come up with anything better while her heart was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings.

The reality, regardless of what had just happened, was that Valentina didn’t want to be with her. She was high, and she’d gotten carried away with her game. Had another person been in this room with her, she’d probably have kissed them too.

The sad truth, the only logical conclusion in spite of a moment’s worth of evidence to the contrary, settled in her bones. She blinked to buy herself a few seconds before she needed to speak, to make sure that when she did, it wasn’t something she regretted. Regardless of Valentina’s intentions, and not that Juliana would ever be brave enough to have this conversation, but now wasn’t the right time.

Val touched a finger to her lips, her eyes wide, stare trained intently on Juliana in a way that made her feel so insanely seen the only way to get away from it would be to become invisible. 

Because this was Val. The person who’d grown to be her best friend. The person who supported her dreams. The person who made time for her even though there were a million people in the world constantly fawning for her attention.

Even if all she wanted to do was lean in and taste her lips again, it would ruin everything. Valentina wasn’t gay, and Juliana didn’t really know what she was. But whatever it was, it wasn’t the love interest of Mexican media royalty and the prettiest girl that had ever existed.

Tomorrow, they’d pretend like this hadn’t happened. And if they did happen to talk about it, or if Valentina even remembered it and brought it up, Juliana would laugh it off as something young people did when they’d had too many drugs and gotten carried away in the moment.

Because it was impossible in this life or the next, or in all the lives that had ever come to pass, that Valentina Carvajal would choose Juliana Valdes.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina's POV.

Really, this was all Lucho’s fault. Her boyfriend, who she purposefully hadn’t invited to Guille’s birthday party because he’d been acting like a jerk lately. 

So what does he do? Instead of accepting her wishes, he invites himself and half of the school, turning the evening into something that was absolutely not her brother’s style.

She barely noticed Lucho except that he kept inserting himself into her space, trying to monopolize her attention at every turn. She wanted to dance with Juliana, who looked prettier than any person had the right to look, in a beautiful dress she’d allowed Val to buy for her.

Tonight, she was here with Juliana, and Lucho’s presence like an annoying fly only reinforced how much she didn’t want to spend tonight with him.

Why couldn’t she just tell him that? Maybe because she didn’t want to cause a scene during her brother’s birthday party. And she didn’t want to make Juliana uncomfortable and feel like any of this was her fault.

It was all too much, and when Lucho offered her the pill, it had been easy to take, even though parts of her mind screamed no, that she wanted to be sober and fully enjoy this wonderful night with Juliana.

An hour later, she’d realized the depth of her mistake. She thought it would make her more open to everyone, more willing to have a fun night in spite of Lucho’s presence.

But all she could see was Juliana. All she could feel was Juliana. Every atom in Val’s body yearned to be closer to her, to dance and touch and whisper into her ear. To tell her and show her that she was the prettiest, most magnetic, person in the room, that there was no one else she’d rather spend her evening with.

When Juliana’s ride home wasn’t available, she told herself it was some sort of sign from the gods. They wanted the two of them to stay together, to spend the evening laughing and enjoying the warmth and affection that wrapped around Valentina like a comforting blanket.

And surprisingly, Juliana had taken a pill too. 

Well, maybe.

Juls’ focus was still intense and guarded. Her dress was perfect, her hair and makeup immaculately in place. Val, who’d been whipping her hair around like she wanted to give Ariana Grande a run for her money, didn’t know how Juls could stay so composed with the surges of affection mingled with contentment rushing through her body in smooth waves.

Everything reminded her of Juliana. The only song she wanted to listen to was the song they’d dance to together in the park, the one she’d had on repeat since that day. The only voice she wasn’t to hear was the slightly low, even timbre of Juliana’s voice, a sound that made her feel like little stars were exploding all over her skin.

There was this yearning pulsing through her, intense in a way she was powerless to fight, not that she wanted to. She hoped Juliana felt it too. That she felt even a fraction of the same weightedness that had settled in Val’s limbs and skin and heart and bones.

She had to find out, so she offered up the energy game she’d played with her brother when they were younger as a pretext to slow down, to see if Juliana’s feelings matched her own.

Her fingers tingled as she ran them along Juliana’s hands before shifting to her arms, her shoulders, her face. Valentina’s body was light, pouring out of her from every cell. The light touched the softness of Juliana’s cheek. The warmth of Juliana’s skin.

When she’d looked at Juliana in the dress shop, something inside of her had cracked. It had been affection and want and a desire to be closer that she’d never felt before, a feeling to which she hadn’t been able to clearly put a name.

Those feelings bubbled up again, and Val wanted to show her, to make Juliana understand how she felt. And under the slight haze of her dulled inhibitions, there was only one way that was possible.

Juliana’s eyes were closed, her lips pursed into the most perfect line of seriousness that she’d come to love about her best friend. Valentina’s fingers slipped down Juls’ face and along the smooth line of her neck, like she was following a path that had been laid out just for her, something she was destined to follow.

It was… nothing she had words for anymore as she shifted her lips forward another inch. Her heart exploded like a supernova, the world bright and overwhelming behind her eyes while she basked in how good it felt as she pressed her lips against Juliana’s.

It was so different than any kiss she’d ever had, her lungs expanding, grasping to take in the air that had suddenly been sucked out of the room when their mouths connected.

Her heart hammered in her chest when Juliana leaned forward, her lips easing against Val’s, fitting together. Did she want this too? And did she feel this magnetic pull toward Valentina? The same one that Valentina absolutely felt toward her. All tonight did was make her more open to experiencing what had been in front of her this whole time, a connection as strong as a braided rope that kept her tethered to the shoreline.

When Juliana pulled away from the kiss, Valentina tried not to let her disappointment show.

“Energy,” she finally pushed out, willing her voice to not crack under the weight of her longing. 

The slightly whiny “Val” that came from Juliana’s wet lips made it almost impossible not to lean forward and kiss her again. 

Words couldn’t capture the emotion welling up in Valentina’s heart, and all she wanted was to push Juliana back on the bed and curl up against her and hold their bodies close. Instead, she touched her fingers to her lips and tried to memorize Juliana’s kiss.

But this wasn’t fair to Juliana. She was stuck here until morning, and Valentina didn’t want her to feel any sort of obligation to go down this path with her. All she wanted to do was protect Juliana, and right now, maybe the person she needed protection from was Val. 

God, she hoped that wasn’t the case, but with the peak of the drugs gone, the edges of the situation were growing clearer, how, at least for her, this wasn’t a kiss at a party that didn’t mean anything.

It meant everything.

Valentina smiled her most charming smile and placed her hand on top of Juliana’s. “Will you look at me?” she asked. Not a command but a question, and she tried to keep the pleading out of her voice. With a light squeeze of Juliana’s hand, she stood up and walked to her dresser, speaking toward it. “I have a pair of pajamas you can borrow. Okay?”

Juliana’s quiet voice came from behind her. “Sure, Val.”

After she grabbed clothing for both of them, she walked to the bathroom, turning in the doorway. “I’ll change in here. Just let me know when you’re okay for me to come back out.”

Dark eyes started back at Val, like they held the weight of the world. Juliana’s bottom lip drawn between her teeth was an unfairly sexy sight, but she refused to push the person who’d been nothing but supportive and helpful to her into something that she didn’t want. Even if it was all Val wanted right now, was all she could think about.

Val followed her heart, made decisions before she thought through the implications. This was the first time in her life she worried she’d made a mistake, that blindly taking what she wanted could have catastrophic consequences for a relationship that meant so much to her.

The bathroom felt like a prison cell away from Juliana, but she waited until she heard a small, “Finished,” and then waited another minute for good measure before she slipped out of the bathroom.

Juliana was already in bed, covers drawn up to her chest as she focused on her phone.

Valentina eased into the other side of the bed, a million sleepovers with girls over the years making it impossible to confuse how different it felt with Juliana in her bed, how it was closer to what she’d experienced with boyfriends but orders of magnitude better.

Instead of kissing Juliana cheek and cuddling her body close, Val leaned onto her side and balanced her face on her palm. “I hope you had a nice night tonight.” 

It was a night that Val would replay for the rest of her life, even if this was all she had.

Juliana put her phone on the desk next to the bed and sunk back against the pillows. “Thanks for inviting me.”

Val nodded and reached behind her to turn off the light. When the room darkened, she followed Juliana’s lead and melted into the softness of her sheets. “I wouldn’t have wanted to spend tonight with anyone else,” she said toward the ceiling.

And then, so light at first she almost missed it, she felt Juliana’s hand skim down her arm before tangling their fingers together. It was soft and sweet and so unlike Juliana to be open and vulnerable that it made Val’s heart practically beat out of her chest.

This thing between them had been growing and morphing since they’d met. It had snuck up on her so slowly that as she lay in bed, she knew the truth.

She was falling in love with her best friend, and she didn’t want to stop it.

**Author's Note:**

> <3 you all!


End file.
